Years. When I was around your age, I started looking into studying at a school that would prepare me for this kind of life. Like I mentioned before, I spent a long time training my mind and body before I made my debut as a hero. That was one of many things I needed to control in order to achieve my goals, and so that's what I did.
[Maybe it isn't the easiest thing to hear, but Barnaby doesn't want to sugarcoat reality.]
[ Probably for the best. And honestly kind of a relief to know that other people don't just get over something like this. He still sighs quietly though. ]
Well, there's no school here. And I need to be able to still do things now.
[It's true, there's no Hero Academy for people to learn the finer points of things like martial arts, bomb disposal methods, criminal psychology, and so on. Although Xavier's is a school for imPort children, he's almost certain Hiro would just grow bored in that kind of environment.]
Doing things now is admirable, but since you know what might happen the next time you rush into a burning house, you'll have to ask yourself: is that a risk you're willing to take before you've learned to manage what caused you to seize up in the first place?
[ If Magicman hadn't been there to help them, both he and his brother would be injured, if not dead. At minimum Tadashi would have had to make that jump with no soft landing; at worst, his brother would have searched the upper floor and been unable to find Hiro before either or both of them had been overwhelmed. It was a near thing. But at the same time... ]
I can't just stand by either. I can't watch him go into another building like that.
That's understandable. [There are some people in this world you just want to protect, no matter the cost. Barnaby gets that, he truly does. But, as far as he's concerned, repeating the same mistakes isn't the way to go about it.]
Have you told him how much that bothers you? Maybe he'd reconsider his actions if he understood your feelings on the matter -- perhaps he'd even find other ways to help that don't involve putting himself in immediate danger. He's basically raised you up until now, after all. [Barnaby can't imagine Tadashi would want to hurt Hiro. As his only family, surely he realizes just how much his little brother needs him, especially in such a strange, unfamiliar world.]
[Barnaby pauses a moment at that. Honestly, he thinks Hiro should just go ahead and tell Tadashi what happened. Enough people know by this point that it's bound to get back to him sooner or later, and Tadashi ought to hear the story from Hiro himself.
Still, it's not his place to tell Hiro how to handle his brother (it barely involves him, and he hardly knows the man), so instead he says:]
Do you really need to justify why you're worried about it, though? He's the only family you have here, and you'd already spent a month without anyone from home by the time he appeared.
I might be wrong, but doesn't the reason boil down to the fact you don't want to lose your only brother?
[Look, he's not advocating that he lie to Tadashi, but if Hiro doesn't want to tell him he's dead, then they may as well dig deeper and focus on the heart of the matter.]
If you've decided withholding certain details is for the best, then that's your choice. What I'm trying to understand is why you believe saying you worry about his safety isn't enough to deter him from putting himself in dangerous situations. It sounds like you're concerned you'll wind up in an awkward position if he starts prying for reasons, and that may be true, but is the core reason -- namely, that you don't want to lose him -- not sufficient enough for both of you?
[The anger isn't lost on him. As far as Barnaby is concerned, Hiro has every right to feel angry. No matter how one tries to explain it, he's still the one who bears the burden of his brother's death.
Barnaby's tentative assessment of Tadashi is that he's someone who needs to feel needed, someone who's quick to put others before himself at the expense of loved ones -- and also possibly the type who needs certain things spelled out for him in no uncertain terms before they sink in. If all of that is true, he could see how Tadashi might walk right into an untimely demise without fully comprehending what that means for Hiro.
At the end of the day, though, Barnaby doesn't know Tadashi nearly as well as Hiro, and he's not about to contradict the boy over something he himself might not fully understand. Instead, his voice is quiet and somber when he answers.]
...I see. It makes sense to assume he'll get swept up in the moment and put himself into danger again, then. [A pause.] Since you've decided the best course is to follow him into the thick of things, have you thought about what you'll do in order to avoid a repeat of what happened Friday?
[ That's the crux of the problem right there, isn't it? He can't tell Tadashi, but he is woefully unequipped for preventing another incident like that in the future. If only he had his suit ... if only his microbots were in better shape ... He can fix those things, but it will take time. And it's hard to work when all he can think about is Tadashi running back into that burning building. ]
I ... I don't know. Make better tech, maybe, so he doesn't have to do it.
[There's some merit behind the idea of nipping a problem in the bud, but the lengths Hiro would have to go through in order to maintain all of that -- the facade, appearing anytime Tadashi may need his help, managing his own trauma alone -- doesn't sound sustainable to him.
The way he sees it, something has to give eventually, whether it's Tadashi cottoning on and confronting Hiro about his activities, or Hiro failing to arrive the one time Tadashi decides to fight back during a future terrorist attack.
That may just have to be a lesson Hiro learns on his own, though, because Barnaby has a feeling he won't want to listen to anyone who tries to point that out.]
Assuming you're able to keep him in the dark and out of trouble, that still brings us back to Friday night. Given your circumstances, your freezing up back there is perfectly understandable. Now that you know it's an issue, though, it's on you to try reducing the odds of that happening again. Other people's lives will be depending on your actions.
[ It really, really isn't. Fortunately Hiro will figure that out on his own this week, but he's not in the right place for that now.
Freezing up though ... that has to be taken care of. No matter how he approaches this, he has to get over his fear of fire - or at least find ways to continue functioning if that encounter happens again. ]
[Looking back, it's hard to point to one monumental burst of effort that led him to success. Fire rescues were extensively covered by the Hero Academy. He learned to achieve mental and emotional tranquility by repressing his feelings when necessary. As Hiro pointed out, though, there's no hero school in this world. Barnaby also understands how unhelpful and potentially destructive the second coping mechanism would sound in this context.]
Like I mentioned before, it didn't happen overnight. My school had a comprehensive curriculum, and I had chances to practice before making my debut. Generally speaking, I prefer on-the-job learning over simulations, but...for things like this, using a simulation to help acclimate yourself to fire-rescue situations might be a good place to start.
[ There's that school again ... Hiro kind of wishes he could attend something like that. He was never much fond of traditional schooling, but this place sounds less like his crappy high school and more like SFIT. Too bad Xavier's can't fill that niche for him anymore. ]
It may sound a little odd when you word it that way, but...yes. Even if we take what happened to you out of the equation, fear of fire is a natural survival instinct. Simulate it in a safe, controlled environment enough times, though, and you might learn how to avoid letting your fears control you.
[Almost anything is better than just freezing up again, as far as Barnaby is concerned.] I'm sure someone like you can come up with a few good ideas. If you need help with anything, though, please feel free to ask.
no subject
[Maybe it isn't the easiest thing to hear, but Barnaby doesn't want to sugarcoat reality.]
no subject
Well, there's no school here. And I need to be able to still do things now.
no subject
Doing things now is admirable, but since you know what might happen the next time you rush into a burning house, you'll have to ask yourself: is that a risk you're willing to take before you've learned to manage what caused you to seize up in the first place?
no subject
[ If Magicman hadn't been there to help them, both he and his brother would be injured, if not dead. At minimum Tadashi would have had to make that jump with no soft landing; at worst, his brother would have searched the upper floor and been unable to find Hiro before either or both of them had been overwhelmed. It was a near thing. But at the same time... ]
I can't just stand by either. I can't watch him go into another building like that.
no subject
Have you told him how much that bothers you? Maybe he'd reconsider his actions if he understood your feelings on the matter -- perhaps he'd even find other ways to help that don't involve putting himself in immediate danger. He's basically raised you up until now, after all. [Barnaby can't imagine Tadashi would want to hurt Hiro. As his only family, surely he realizes just how much his little brother needs him, especially in such a strange, unfamiliar world.]
no subject
I can't. He'd ask why I'm so worried about it and... He - he doesn't know that he's dead and I can't tell him.
no subject
Still, it's not his place to tell Hiro how to handle his brother (it barely involves him, and he hardly knows the man), so instead he says:]
Do you really need to justify why you're worried about it, though? He's the only family you have here, and you'd already spent a month without anyone from home by the time he appeared.
no subject
[ He's already lying by omission, but somehow that feels like crossing a line. ]
no subject
[Look, he's not advocating that he lie to Tadashi, but if Hiro doesn't want to tell him he's dead, then they may as well dig deeper and focus on the heart of the matter.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ Is that ... a little anger in his tone? Just a hint of it under everything else. ]
no subject
Barnaby's tentative assessment of Tadashi is that he's someone who needs to feel needed, someone who's quick to put others before himself at the expense of loved ones -- and also possibly the type who needs certain things spelled out for him in no uncertain terms before they sink in. If all of that is true, he could see how Tadashi might walk right into an untimely demise without fully comprehending what that means for Hiro.
At the end of the day, though, Barnaby doesn't know Tadashi nearly as well as Hiro, and he's not about to contradict the boy over something he himself might not fully understand. Instead, his voice is quiet and somber when he answers.]
...I see. It makes sense to assume he'll get swept up in the moment and put himself into danger again, then. [A pause.] Since you've decided the best course is to follow him into the thick of things, have you thought about what you'll do in order to avoid a repeat of what happened Friday?
no subject
I ... I don't know. Make better tech, maybe, so he doesn't have to do it.
no subject
no subject
If I go in first, he doesn't have to.
no subject
[Technically, Tadashi never had to in the first place, but he's not going to get nitpicky about that.]
no subject
no subject
The way he sees it, something has to give eventually, whether it's Tadashi cottoning on and confronting Hiro about his activities, or Hiro failing to arrive the one time Tadashi decides to fight back during a future terrorist attack.
That may just have to be a lesson Hiro learns on his own, though, because Barnaby has a feeling he won't want to listen to anyone who tries to point that out.]
Assuming you're able to keep him in the dark and out of trouble, that still brings us back to Friday night. Given your circumstances, your freezing up back there is perfectly understandable. Now that you know it's an issue, though, it's on you to try reducing the odds of that happening again. Other people's lives will be depending on your actions.
no subject
Freezing up though ... that has to be taken care of. No matter how he approaches this, he has to get over his fear of fire - or at least find ways to continue functioning if that encounter happens again. ]
How? How did you figure it out?
no subject
Like I mentioned before, it didn't happen overnight. My school had a comprehensive curriculum, and I had chances to practice before making my debut. Generally speaking, I prefer on-the-job learning over simulations, but...for things like this, using a simulation to help acclimate yourself to fire-rescue situations might be a good place to start.
no subject
So ... practice. Practice fires?
no subject
no subject
no subject