[ And then he pauses. He can feel that ever-present buzz move away when his brother tugs at his hoodie. Ugh, he hates that itchy feeling. Like something is stuck ... He frowns, eyes glazing over as he nudges that little thing nestled in his hoodie. ]
... What are you doing? Did you put something in there?
[ Hiro's eyes go wide. A tracker? And - not only was Tadashi doing it long before coming here, but he's obviously still been doing it. Suddenly a lot of things make more sense. Like his brother's extra worry during the age-swap event. And how his hoodies mysteriously vanish and then reappear every time he buys a new one. Tadashi turning up at bot fights.
He isn't even sure how to feel at first. His mouth just hangs open in shock. ]
You've been stalking me? In real life too?
[ In addition to all of his network posts, obviously. ]
[He visibly winces at that. It's not what he'd call it but - no, that is what it is to anyone that doesn't know Hiro. But he looks plenty guilty for it, keeping his eyes down on the photo in front of them. He's quiet for a long time, but when he speaks again, his voice is quiet.]
There was a day. You were really small, starting junior high. Six or seven years old, I went to pick you up. You never came out though. So - I went, uh. Asked your teachers, they said you'd left. [A shaky breath - he remembers that day so vividly, how afraid he was for him.] No one knew where you were. Spen-spent hours looking, almost til after security was going to force me to leave.
Found you, in a locker. Carried you home, knew I couldn't do that again.
Edited (now that sentence makes more sense 8|) 2015-05-15 02:05 (UTC)
[ Hiro flinches a little; the memory is still vivid, having reshaped his entire outlook on school from being something scary but fascinated to being a matter of sheer survival. Get through it as fast as possible and don't try to make friends because they'll inevitably end up hurting you. Later bullying incidents would help reinforce that impression, but that ... that's a scar he still bears, eight years later. He still doesn't like small spaces even now.
So that takes the wind out of him a little. Curbs the edge of what could have been anger. If a complete lack of privacy was the price he paid to never, ever be left in a locker for hours again? Maybe he was okay with that. As a kid. As a young adult ... he's not sure. ]
[At that he chances a glance over to Hiro. Because of this reaction is what his eyes seem to say. Big and still red and wet from crying over their parents but also red and wet from being afraid of what his little brother thinks of him trying to keep him safe.
He looks back down at his hands. Stupid... big older brother decisions, can't even keep his little brother safe properly.]
[ The Hiro from back home who went bot fighting and spent as much time away from his brother as he could? No way. He'd have been picking them out left and right, throwing them in the bay, all kinds of things to keep himself out of his brother's watchful eye. And probably have gotten himself beaten up for it. Here ... Hiro's a little more amenable to the concept, but even with this timing he's not feeling 100% good about this. ]
Maybe not back home. But - I asked you if I could do the same for you. You could've asked me right back.
[ How's that brotherly disappointment feel on the receiving end, huh? ]
[Yeah no it's not great. It makes his shoulders sag even lower, heavier than he thought possible. His own self guilt at not doing things right enough, then his brother still getting hurt despite his best efforts, now this...
He thumbs at the wetness at one eye, blocking his view from Hiro for a few seconds, breathes in a shuddering breath.]
I know. I-i know, I planned to, but- then Honey showed up, then Callaghan and Krei and--
[No. No, those are just excuses and he knows it. Tadashi shakes his head.]
[ Well dammit, he immediately regrets looking disappointed now. Internally his skin crawls a bit at the thought of being tracked all the time without even knowing it - but he knows now, doesn't he? And he's a technokinetic. If he really needs to go off the radar, it's as simple as flicking a switch now. His brother wouldn't be able to find him then.
Somehow that thought fills his stomach with even more lead, though. He'd gotten used to the idea that his brother would always be there to rescue him, had even joked about him having a sixth sense not five minutes before. So what's the actual difference here? ... Maybe he's just glad his brother knows where he is after all. So, after a moment, he just leans in to hug Tadashi again. ]
[All the world and he can't accept a few failures. He'd found a sense of security being able to pull up an app and know where his brother is, his own fears alleviated by that simple feeling. Knowing that he could sit and work in his school lab for hours, days even, and still know his brother was safe at a moment's notice.
He leans with Hiro's weight in the hug, tries to lighten his tone but it doesn't quite work.]
[ That didn't quite come out as light as he wanted either. After a moment, he lets all his breath out in one, long sigh. If it makes his brother happy and it keeps him safer ... can he really object? Does he really want to? He suspects that answer is really no. ]
Fair is fair, I guess. You've got the tracker in your bracelet.
[ Ha. Well. Tadashi's free and clear; Hiro still has a few more nasty ones stowed away ... but he's not going to dredge them up any time soon. He ducks his head a bit at that, smiling faintly. ]
Me too, okay? Don't forget to let me return the favor. I wanna -
[ Speaking of subconscious programming. There's a familiar pause as he loses track of his thoughts for a moment. A dark little thought bubbles to the surface instead of the hopeful statement he was planning on saying. ]
[He listens and -- okay, that is officially a Problem. He's not sure what's causing that or if Hiro even notices it, but it's a pattern now. Every time it sounds like Hiro's going to say something related to Tadashi and ... something specific, Hiro loses the words somewhere. That just isn't like him.
But he sits up right when Hiro speaks again, looking at him confused.]
I-- Yeah. Yeah, of course I wanna go home. How else am I gonna see Aunt Cass again? Or try to fix things?
[ That at least dims the fog a bit, seeing his actual flesh-and-blood brother and not some dream shadow confirming that for him. He still seems weirdly uneasy about a subject he's usually 100% about. ]
I - I don't know. There's a lot of things that could go wrong.
Well... Maybe? But that's why we've got people who have a better idea of what they're doing helping us and why we're going to test it safely until we know for sure it works.
[ He opens his mouth to shrug it off ... and pauses. This pause is a natural one, from him actually thinking differently and not just glitching over the topic. There's noticeable contrast between the two. Tadashi just got done laying out all his secrets, right? And Hiro ... he still can't tell Tadashi all of them, but this one he can offer up, at least. Fair is fair. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
microbrobotics) wrote2025-01-08 05:19 pm
no subject
[Yep, lay that guilt on a little harder, lil bro. Tadashi rubs at the back of his neck nervously, looking at the tree again.]
About being able to know where you are, uh. All the time? It's... It's not as amazing as you think.
no subject
[ Now Tadashi's just not talking any sense. He knows that Hiro didn't mean that literally, right? ]
no subject
[He looks Hiro over and. Reaches to grab the back of his brother's hoodie's neckline and gently pulls it away from his skin.
And Waits.]
no subject
[ And then he pauses. He can feel that ever-present buzz move away when his brother tugs at his hoodie. Ugh, he hates that itchy feeling. Like something is stuck ... He frowns, eyes glazing over as he nudges that little thing nestled in his hoodie. ]
... What are you doing? Did you put something in there?
no subject
Long time ago. Before we ever showed up here, even. Micro-gps tracker.
[He's quiet a long minute to let that sit.]
How I always found you.
no subject
He isn't even sure how to feel at first. His mouth just hangs open in shock. ]
You've been stalking me? In real life too?
[ In addition to all of his network posts, obviously. ]
no subject
There was a day. You were really small, starting junior high. Six or seven years old, I went to pick you up. You never came out though. So - I went, uh. Asked your teachers, they said you'd left. [A shaky breath - he remembers that day so vividly, how afraid he was for him.] No one knew where you were. Spen-spent hours looking, almost til after security was going to force me to leave.
Found you, in a locker. Carried you home, knew I couldn't do that again.
no subject
So that takes the wind out of him a little. Curbs the edge of what could have been anger. If a complete lack of privacy was the price he paid to never, ever be left in a locker for hours again? Maybe he was okay with that. As a kid. As a young adult ... he's not sure. ]
Why didn't you tell me?
no subject
He looks back down at his hands. Stupid... big older brother decisions, can't even keep his little brother safe properly.]
Would you 've understood if I told you before?
no subject
[ The Hiro from back home who went bot fighting and spent as much time away from his brother as he could? No way. He'd have been picking them out left and right, throwing them in the bay, all kinds of things to keep himself out of his brother's watchful eye. And probably have gotten himself beaten up for it. Here ... Hiro's a little more amenable to the concept, but even with this timing he's not feeling 100% good about this. ]
Maybe not back home. But - I asked you if I could do the same for you. You could've asked me right back.
[ How's that brotherly disappointment feel on the receiving end, huh? ]
no subject
He thumbs at the wetness at one eye, blocking his view from Hiro for a few seconds, breathes in a shuddering breath.]
I know. I-i know, I planned to, but- then Honey showed up, then Callaghan and Krei and--
[No. No, those are just excuses and he knows it. Tadashi shakes his head.]
... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Hiro.
no subject
Somehow that thought fills his stomach with even more lead, though. He'd gotten used to the idea that his brother would always be there to rescue him, had even joked about him having a sixth sense not five minutes before. So what's the actual difference here? ... Maybe he's just glad his brother knows where he is after all. So, after a moment, he just leans in to hug Tadashi again. ]
Stupid.
no subject
He leans with Hiro's weight in the hug, tries to lighten his tone but it doesn't quite work.]
Yeah. Some. Great, stupid big brother, huh.
no subject
[ That didn't quite come out as light as he wanted either. After a moment, he lets all his breath out in one, long sigh. If it makes his brother happy and it keeps him safer ... can he really object? Does he really want to? He suspects that answer is really no. ]
Fair is fair, I guess. You've got the tracker in your bracelet.
no subject
[He's glad for it, at least.
And at the very least, they're even now, secrets out in the open. And Hiro kept his promise of not getting mad. Sort of, for the most part.]
And you're the only one I've got. Do anything to keep you safe.
[
If only he knew about his subconscious reprogramming...]no subject
Me too, okay? Don't forget to let me return the favor. I wanna -
[ Speaking of subconscious programming. There's a familiar pause as he loses track of his thoughts for a moment. A dark little thought bubbles to the surface instead of the hopeful statement he was planning on saying. ]
You want to go home, right?
no subject
But he sits up right when Hiro speaks again, looking at him confused.]
I-- Yeah. Yeah, of course I wanna go home. How else am I gonna see Aunt Cass again? Or try to fix things?
no subject
I - I don't know. There's a lot of things that could go wrong.
no subject
no subject
Right. We'll make it as safe as possible.
no subject
[And then he leans his head a little, tries to get a better look at his face.]
... You okay? Look a little lost...
no subject
I'm okay. I'm doing better, actually.
[ Deep breath. ]
... I've kind of been seeing a therapist.