[Yeah no it's not great. It makes his shoulders sag even lower, heavier than he thought possible. His own self guilt at not doing things right enough, then his brother still getting hurt despite his best efforts, now this...
He thumbs at the wetness at one eye, blocking his view from Hiro for a few seconds, breathes in a shuddering breath.]
I know. I-i know, I planned to, but- then Honey showed up, then Callaghan and Krei and--
[No. No, those are just excuses and he knows it. Tadashi shakes his head.]
[ Well dammit, he immediately regrets looking disappointed now. Internally his skin crawls a bit at the thought of being tracked all the time without even knowing it - but he knows now, doesn't he? And he's a technokinetic. If he really needs to go off the radar, it's as simple as flicking a switch now. His brother wouldn't be able to find him then.
Somehow that thought fills his stomach with even more lead, though. He'd gotten used to the idea that his brother would always be there to rescue him, had even joked about him having a sixth sense not five minutes before. So what's the actual difference here? ... Maybe he's just glad his brother knows where he is after all. So, after a moment, he just leans in to hug Tadashi again. ]
[All the world and he can't accept a few failures. He'd found a sense of security being able to pull up an app and know where his brother is, his own fears alleviated by that simple feeling. Knowing that he could sit and work in his school lab for hours, days even, and still know his brother was safe at a moment's notice.
He leans with Hiro's weight in the hug, tries to lighten his tone but it doesn't quite work.]
[ That didn't quite come out as light as he wanted either. After a moment, he lets all his breath out in one, long sigh. If it makes his brother happy and it keeps him safer ... can he really object? Does he really want to? He suspects that answer is really no. ]
Fair is fair, I guess. You've got the tracker in your bracelet.
[ Ha. Well. Tadashi's free and clear; Hiro still has a few more nasty ones stowed away ... but he's not going to dredge them up any time soon. He ducks his head a bit at that, smiling faintly. ]
Me too, okay? Don't forget to let me return the favor. I wanna -
[ Speaking of subconscious programming. There's a familiar pause as he loses track of his thoughts for a moment. A dark little thought bubbles to the surface instead of the hopeful statement he was planning on saying. ]
[He listens and -- okay, that is officially a Problem. He's not sure what's causing that or if Hiro even notices it, but it's a pattern now. Every time it sounds like Hiro's going to say something related to Tadashi and ... something specific, Hiro loses the words somewhere. That just isn't like him.
But he sits up right when Hiro speaks again, looking at him confused.]
I-- Yeah. Yeah, of course I wanna go home. How else am I gonna see Aunt Cass again? Or try to fix things?
[ That at least dims the fog a bit, seeing his actual flesh-and-blood brother and not some dream shadow confirming that for him. He still seems weirdly uneasy about a subject he's usually 100% about. ]
I - I don't know. There's a lot of things that could go wrong.
Well... Maybe? But that's why we've got people who have a better idea of what they're doing helping us and why we're going to test it safely until we know for sure it works.
[ He opens his mouth to shrug it off ... and pauses. This pause is a natural one, from him actually thinking differently and not just glitching over the topic. There's noticeable contrast between the two. Tadashi just got done laying out all his secrets, right? And Hiro ... he still can't tell Tadashi all of them, but this one he can offer up, at least. Fair is fair. ]
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microbrobotics) wrote2025-01-08 05:19 pm
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He thumbs at the wetness at one eye, blocking his view from Hiro for a few seconds, breathes in a shuddering breath.]
I know. I-i know, I planned to, but- then Honey showed up, then Callaghan and Krei and--
[No. No, those are just excuses and he knows it. Tadashi shakes his head.]
... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Hiro.
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Somehow that thought fills his stomach with even more lead, though. He'd gotten used to the idea that his brother would always be there to rescue him, had even joked about him having a sixth sense not five minutes before. So what's the actual difference here? ... Maybe he's just glad his brother knows where he is after all. So, after a moment, he just leans in to hug Tadashi again. ]
Stupid.
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He leans with Hiro's weight in the hug, tries to lighten his tone but it doesn't quite work.]
Yeah. Some. Great, stupid big brother, huh.
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[ That didn't quite come out as light as he wanted either. After a moment, he lets all his breath out in one, long sigh. If it makes his brother happy and it keeps him safer ... can he really object? Does he really want to? He suspects that answer is really no. ]
Fair is fair, I guess. You've got the tracker in your bracelet.
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[He's glad for it, at least.
And at the very least, they're even now, secrets out in the open. And Hiro kept his promise of not getting mad. Sort of, for the most part.]
And you're the only one I've got. Do anything to keep you safe.
[
If only he knew about his subconscious reprogramming...]no subject
Me too, okay? Don't forget to let me return the favor. I wanna -
[ Speaking of subconscious programming. There's a familiar pause as he loses track of his thoughts for a moment. A dark little thought bubbles to the surface instead of the hopeful statement he was planning on saying. ]
You want to go home, right?
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But he sits up right when Hiro speaks again, looking at him confused.]
I-- Yeah. Yeah, of course I wanna go home. How else am I gonna see Aunt Cass again? Or try to fix things?
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I - I don't know. There's a lot of things that could go wrong.
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Right. We'll make it as safe as possible.
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[And then he leans his head a little, tries to get a better look at his face.]
... You okay? Look a little lost...
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I'm okay. I'm doing better, actually.
[ Deep breath. ]
... I've kind of been seeing a therapist.