[MoM] IC CONTACT POST

[microbrobotics]

"Hey, you've reached Hiro Hamada. Text me like a normal person and not a weirdo."

Comments

[nohalfway]

[ Ooooooh, touchy question. Mostly because, yes, that is exactly why she hasn't been sleeping. Ellie visibly tenses at that, brows furrowed. ]

Can't have nightmares if you're not sleeping.

[microbrobotics]

... Yeah. That's what I thought.

[nohalfway]

[ She flashes an accusatory glance at Hiro. ]

What's that supposed to mean?

[ ELLIE DOES NOT WANT TO ADMIT IT. NOT WITH HIRO. BECAUSE THAT IS WHO SHE HAS BEEN HAVING NIGHTMARES ABOUT. ]

[microbrobotics]

[ He winces a bit in response. ]

You're just like my brother. You don't want to hurt me, so you don't tell me when you're hurting. Like that makes it hurt any less when I find out.

[nohalfway]

[ Ellie caves in a bit at that, suddenly feeling bad for snapping. ]

Hiro...

[ She sighs, briefly putting her face in her hand. ]

I'm just... Not really in a place to be sharing my feelings. It's not that I don't want to, it's just--

[ She's developed a nasty habit being around Joel so much. ]

You don't want to hear about my nightmares, dude. I sure as hell don't even like thinking about them.

[microbrobotics]

If you don't wanna talk about 'em, that's fine, just ...

[ He lets out a long breath. ]

Just don't tell me you don't have them.

[nohalfway]

[ Ellie's silent a while, fiddling with her fingers and tangling them together out of tension. ]

I don't want anyone to worry about me.

[microbrobotics]

Too late for that.

[ He's had a few nightmares of his own since the swear-in. And most of them involve her with the gun... ]

[nohalfway]

[ She exhales a frustrated, groaning sigh. ]

It's already bad enough what I did, there's no point in me telling you that I still feel like shit for it.

I'd just be, I don't know...

[ Ellie gestures her hands, waving them around briefly. ]

Beating a dead horse or something.

[microbrobotics]

But I want you to tell me. I just - I just wanna help. You're my girlfriend.

[nohalfway]

[ Ellie's nose wrinkles, and she awkwardly rubs the back of her neck. ]

Okay.

[ Her hand drops to her lap, looking forward rather than facing Hiro. ]

I...

I've been having a lot of nightmares about, you know, shooting you.

[ She sighs again. ]

Then... Shooting myself.

I don't know. I mean, I had a few dreams and thoughts like that before? But that was a long time ago.

[microbrobotics]

-- You wanted to kill yourself before?

[nohalfway]

[ She's silent a while again, frowning as she looks down at her feet. ]

Kind of.

[microbrobotics]

[ Hiro falls silent for a moment too, thinking. ]

Why?

[nohalfway]

[ Ellie visibly goes tense. She's not exactly in a place to be sharing her secrets with everybody, but... Those who are close to her deserve to know. She knows there's no getting past what happened if she keeps quiet. ]

Um...

I'm not sure what you saw, back at the Swear-In, but--

[ She tugs at her sleeve, pulling it over her knuckles in a nervous stretch. ]

I had a really good friend. Her name was Riley.

She was supposed to leave and... Well, we were fucking morons and snuck out. Some things happened and we caused a lot of noise which called a horde of infected.

[ Her shoulders hike up to her ears. ]

We shouldn't have snuck out. The mall was boarded up for a reason but...

[ Ellie lets out another exhale, cutting it short. ]

We...

We both got bit.

[microbrobotics]

[ His eyes widen at the mention of Riley and stay that way. There's only one way that can end, and yet he can't help but ask anyway. ]

... She ... she died, then?

[nohalfway]

[ Ellie's breath starts to come out shaken, forced. ]

I um...

Yeah. Yeah, she died.

[microbrobotics]

[ And given that Ellie almost certainly saw zombies, given every zombie movie Hiro's ever seen ... He swallows. ]

She - she would have forgiven you, I think.

[nohalfway]

[ Her hand idly goes to her right arm, palm clenching the fabric over the scar that seems to burn every time this subject comes up. ]

I'm not so sure about that.

[ Riley didn't die with dignity. She died at Ellie's hand with poorly aimed bullets to the point of her face being unrecognizable. Not to mention the fact that Ellie never turned and wound up immune. ]

[microbrobotics]

She was your friend? Right? At least - at least she'd want ...

[ For you to live, he almost says, but something stops him. A sudden realization. ]

You got bit too.

[nohalfway]

[ This whole subject is never easy to talk about, and Ellie isn't sure if she should be relieved that Hiro somewhat changes the subject. It's only because of her close relationship with Hiro that she even feels remotely comfortable talking about Riley to him. ]

[ Ellie swallows something thick and rough in her throat, nodding at his question. She begins to pull up her sleeve for him, dark fabric passing over to reveal a stark contrast between her pale skin and the pink, red, and bright white scarring that has permanently colored itself on her arm. There are deep teeth marks there, the perfect crown of an upper jaw. ]

[ Her eyes shift to meet with Hiro's, a pleading look on her expression. ]

Promise to tell no one. Okay?

[microbrobotics]

[ His eyes widen still further as he examines the wound. That ... is definitely a bite mark. He has no trouble believing that it was caused by a zombie. Some horrible part of him has the urge to take a picture, just to have an image of a for-real bite ... but he isn't that morbid in the end. Having had a quarantine scare sort of took the edge off his nerdy fondness for zombies.

He swallows, slowly. Concern floods his expression, softening his face. ]

'course. I promise, 100%.

[nohalfway]

[ Ellie looks away fast, quickly tugging down her sleeve to cover it up. She uncomfortably shifts away from Hiro a bit, suddenly embarrassed and ashamed. ]

Don't shit your pants or anything. I got bit over a year ago, so it's not like I'm infected.

[microbrobotics]

-- No, I wasn't thinking that at all.

[ He was a little. But only a little. ]

I figured you wouldn't let me get this close if you weren't safe.

[nohalfway]

Sorry.

[ Ellie wills herself to relax a little. ]

It's not exactly normal for people to... Not freak out when I tell them.

[ She weakly laughs. ]

Joel almost abandoned me.